rants,,,,,,,

I used to be a really prolific blogger, was always on facebook, even considered tweeting. But now I seem to have slowed down, Facebook does my head in and the finches and honeyeaters in the tree outside my window are the only things that are tweeting.
My thoughts, feelings, emotions and inspirations stay locked away. OKay, sometimes I do waffle - mainly about everyday things, the weather, my craft. But I've come to realise that in the past I needed to post, I didn't care who read them, it was purely for my benefit. They were words and feelings that I needed to get out, they helped me look at things differently.
I also realise after rereading my blogs that a lot of feelings and emotions (and yes,fears also) are no longer with me, try as I might I cannot feel those emotions. I have let go of so many things. 
Occassionally I do slip back, mainly into worry, but then I give myself a good talking to and let it go. Usually its over money and bills or the car. Things that are material, things I can do something about.  I think about the past and the worst things that could happen to me, and they have happened and I coped, most importantly I survived, so not being able to pay the phone bill on time or having to seriously budget for the next couple of months is no biggy. 
I understand my kids now have their own lives, they are making their own mistakes, I have released them.  They are on their own journeys.  But they all know that I will be here for support if they need it.  My friends are important to me, I appreciate every one. I am so lucky to have good friends, each one of them is different and brings something special to my life.  But I hope they understand that occassionally I like my own company.
My love life is non-existant, if someone comes along and sweeps me off my feet, thats fine.
I've had my big romance, my one true love, the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with so its hard to imagine feeling that way about anybody else again. I'm only just getting used to being on my own finally. I have to take care of myself for a while, but I don't want to become so independant that I can't let anyone else in to my life.
Health - well, thats taken another battering.  I finally found out what was causing the chest pains and stomach burning and pains in my back, not my heart but my gall-bladder, lots of gall-stones. So the whole lot has to come out at the end of November.  I'm keeping to a low-fat or no-fat diet, extremely low-fat.  The weight is coming off and now I have practically eliminated dairy from my diet I am feeling full of beans.  I do miss my cheese though.  No-fat cottage cheese on a rice cake just doesn't do what a cheese toasty used to do. 
So thats your up-date, boring I know. I'm happy with my life, I'm so glad to be still alive to be able to have the odd whinge or two about silly trivial things. I'm open to what the future will bring and accept it all with open arms. Bring it on.........

Jan