Where am I going

I have been following a path that up until a couple of years ago had been abandoned. Gradually coming back through little nudges to this road that is less travelled.
The creator has been sending me messages, putting people and events in my path, in some cases whacking me in the head so that I would notice how my life was going. I do not follow a structured religion, i do not subscribe to any particular belief except my own. I believe god is in us all. I follow the 'Golden Rule' and try to do my best for everyone. More and more I have been pulled onto this spiritual path I am on, the weeds are gradually clearing and I can see more clearly where I am going. Though now, I am at the crossroads again having been given a few opportunities.

I honour myself everyday, I give thanks for who I am. I am trying to step back from my family and not let their lives take over mine, I allow them just to BE. I am slower to anger (which I am sure is better for my blood pressure), I am not dwelling on my illness. I have let go of the irrational fears that have held me prisoner for so long. I practise creative visualisation everyday. I bless those that would cause me anger and pain. I am an empath and have had to learn to block other peoples pain. For many years I have allowed myself to take others anguish, wondering why I felt drained and emotional around certain people. Others anger invaded my personal space, the straw that broke the camels back was a trip to Centrelink, the frustration and the unspoken anger that I soaked up left me physically drained. Speaking to other like minded people from around the world I gradually realised who I actually was and my purpose here. I can meditate at the drop of a hat, any place anywhere now. SO many of us actually manifest bad things because that is what we attract to us. I can hear some of you readers (if I still have any left) saying what did those down south do to attract the fires to them. I don't have answers for that, perhaps they were all part of someone elses plan. The angels are certainly working overtime. I found it hard to come to terms with how I manifested my heart condition, its really way to deep to go into here. But think back to school days or work - how many have thrown a sickie to skive off for the day or to get out of doing things and then become sick a few days later. I know that happened to me many times.

This is me, it is who I am - I am a Wayshower, a Lightworker, an Empath, I am part of the Creator. What I am not - some crazy woman in a kaftan with beads who dances naked under the full moon, I don't go off into trances and channel dead people though I am pyschic, and I don't have 'big hair'. For some reason some pyschics like country music singers have 'big hair', I have no idea what that is all about.

I take ownership of my thoughts and my life and the gifts I have been given.

I am also a mother finding it very hard to step back from her childrens lives, I have changed the way I word the things I say to them, if I have a problem with something they are doing I try to step back from it. It is their life now not mine. All I can do is be there for them.
I am a friend, though I have withdrawn a lot of support from certain friends so that they can learn to make their own decisions and again I am there for them if really needed.

One big thing i have learnt is that I have learnt to say NO, fear of what other people would think of me if i did say NO led me to being someone I didn't like very much. It was hard at first and shocked a few people (who thought I was going 'funny'), but I didn't let it bother me too much.

I am a creator, I create my own path, my own thoughts and I create beautiful things with my own hands.

and........I AM

Jan